DRAFT 1: Untitled RotG Fanfic

THIS CONTAINS A VERY IMPORTANT SPOILER! IT IS BASED ON THE FLASHBACK SCENE IN THE MOVIE NOVELIZATION! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS!

Word Count: 617

Warnings: SPOILERS, implied death

(This fic contains direct dialogue from the book—likely the movie, as well—and a pivotal and important scene in the movie. This fic is written in a third-person view, but changes to Jack’s POV later on. It’s not too intense, but if you don’t want to read, then I implore you not to do so.)

(This is the first draft of this story, and I’m writing for a creative writing class portfolio. Any critique is welcome, if you wish to give it. Thank you!)

The light filled the sky, and a pond came into view. The trees surrounding the water were bitten with frost, the small pond was frozen. Two children, one much taller than the other, were skating on the ice. They were slowly making their way toward the center.

The taller one was a boy, his brown hair blowing in the cold wind. Next to him was a little girl, his sister, wobbling and desperately trying to keep her balance.

The two glided along the ice, but a crack formed beneath the girl’s skates, growing slowly. She glanced down, and whimpered to her brother,

"Jack, I’m scared."

Jack had taken notice of the crack in the ice. He gave a knowing glance to his sister, replying,

"I know, I know, but you’re gonna be just fine."

He glanced towards the shore; it was further away than he’d hoped.

"You’re not gonna fall in," he continued, trying to comfort her, "We’re gonna have a little fun instead."

The girl wobbled again, trying to keep away from the cracks forming so close to her. She shot a desperate glare at her brother, saying,

"No, we’re not."

Jack rolled his eyes,

"Would I trick you?" he asked in disbelief. The girl whimpered and tears formed in her eyes,

"Yes!" she told him in frustration, "You always play tricks!”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh,

"Well, all right. But not this time! I promise. I promise you’re gonna be—”

He paused, realizing the cracks were getting dangerously close again.

"You’re gonna be fine," he declared, holding her hand. He looked her in the eye, she stared back into his brown eyes. 

"You just have to believe in me."

His sister stifled a sob, trying to keep her tears from falling, and gave her brother a weak smile. Jack smiled back, getting an idea.

"You wanna play a game? We’re going to play hopscotch! Like we do every day!" He noticeably pulled her away from more cracks, and quickly demonstrated how to hop along the ice. Three jumps and they’d make it to shore.

"It’s as easy as one…” he jumped but nearly lost balance. He steadied himself, and grinned back at his sister, “Two.” He leaped again, almost there. “Three!” He hastily landed on shore. He smiled and held his arms out to his sister,

"All right," he told her calmly, "Now, it’s your turn."

She hesitated, but steadied herself to jump. Jack glanced down and picked up a stick, holding it out to her.

"One," he started. She hopped very carefully.

"That’s it. You’re doing great," he told her. He held the stick out further, almost within her reach.

"Two." She jumped again. The cracks were starting to form a large circle near the center of the pond.

"Three." Jack’s sister grabbed onto the end of the sturdy stick. Jack used all his strength to pull back and fling her onto the shore. But his foot slipped and he quickly lost his balance. His weight shifting and throwing him into the frozen pond.

The water was freezing. The water is freezing. Gasping for air and trying to keep my head up, I realize I am drowning. Jack can’t swim. I can’t swim.

"JACK!" the girl shouts.

She looks scared, but I can only tell for the moment that she is on the shore. She’s safe. The cold is clinging and stinging every bone in my body and I begin to sink into a cold, dark grave. I gaze up as the full moon shines down. The moonlight grows brighter and brighter. I shut my eyes, welcoming darkness, only to have them shoot back open. 

They had changed from brown to blue.

(Rise of the Guardians, from Dreamworks, comes to theatres November 21st. Be sure to go see it! You won’t be disappointed!)

1 year ago with 6 notes    x rotg    x spoilers    x rise of the guardians    x jack frost    x untitled    x fanfiction    x short story    x creative writing    x draft    x wip    x SPOILERS    x i hope this isnt too bad 

  1. thelastdarknova reblogged this from orbmanson7 and added:
    OUT OF EVERY THING HE COULD HAVE FUCKING SAID! HE HAD TO SAY THAT! FUCK! AS SOON AS I READ THAT “YOU JUST HAVE TO……. .....
  2. orbmanson7 posted this
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